So my sister pointed out that really I'm just insecure. I guess I can see that...in some things. And this little post will probably just re-establish that I now have one more thing to add onto my list of character flaws I really should work on, but yet I still feel like I need to defend myself/define these situations I'm thinking of in my head.
Apparently my trying to be general was too...general. Yes, in the past I did feel that I had to know everything on everything and everyone and wanted to always be in the "know". But I have grown a bit in that aspect. I am talking about things that I really should know...but no one will tell me. Here are some recent examples to hopefully explain a bit better:
I have a calling where I try to help those in need. Anyway there was a situation where I found something out the long way and was wondering why I didn't find out earlier.
Granted, I can only do my calling as to what I am informed of...I just thought that this was the type of situation I would normally be informed of. Which brought on...was I just being to nosy or was there what I perceived to be a lack of communication between me and others in this instance?
I have dropped the wondering and doubt from my mind and have just accepted the situation as it is...there's nothing I can do to change what has happened, and I did what I could. I harbor no ill feelings for anyone and have moved on.
Another example....at work my supervisor goes to many management meetings and such where she is continually informed of things company management is thinking about doing or things they will be putting into effect. But I never hear of these things unless I ask her directly about a topic, or it's starting to get inforced and I'm confused so I have to ask her what is going on. Like...we hire someone knew and they just walk into the office and ask me where they to go (as receptionist is away from her desk and I have to fill in) and I have no idea who this person is or recognize their name. Seriously...this has happened. Head managment got so busy/forgot to sent out an office email notifying anyone of this except department management, who then didn't pass it onto me. Or I start getting forwarded these things to do...which I have never done before...and get told after the fact that these have now been added onto my work load. Sure...okay.
Or my supervisor goes to carrier meetings and finds out how things are changing within each carrier than will just come back to work and not tell me what's going on. I have learned that if I do not go up and ask within the next day or so after the meeting what's new going on...she doesn't really inform me. So then I'm working on a client and realize underwriting guidelines have changed and I had no idea....which could either mess up what I'm doing or help me out in the long run. She had warning...why shouldn't I?
Yes, I generalized my last post and I still agree that overall I prefer to be in the "know" and hate to feel left behind. And I do realize that some of that is insecurity. I have finally come to the point though to accept what I do not/will not know and just move on with my life. Not everyone is like me, and I can't change that. I don't want to. I'd like to think that I can appreciate anyone because of their differences in character. And if there is a lack of communication between me and someone else, I do my best to find a way to work around that issue and find a way to communicate with them that works for both of us.
Flaws can be hard to accept and hear the truth about. So either I didn't like hearing the truth and I'm just making excuses, or I just didn't explain myself very well previously. Whichever it was...I still say I'm nosy. :)
1 comment:
I think Mom is right. People just don't think to tell you even though it affects you directly. People just forget and make mistakes. Plus in the business world, it is hard to be in the know when your boss isn't a good communicator.
The church thing - delicate. If someone had a medical issue, everyone handles it differently. Some don't want the OFFICIAL calling person to help, they just want friends. So after you found out as a friend, then you have permission to help, send a card or flowers. I am an open book, but medical and personal stuff is top secret in some lives. Weird, but everyone reacts differently.
You are not insecure. That is not what I said. Love ya!
Thanks for trying to do your job. More people should be like you.
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