Do You Ever?

Do you ever get the feeling that people are looking/noticing you more than they ever have in the past and it's almost slightly unnerving? Or you know, maybe you are just making more random eye contact with people than you have noticed before? It's kinda weird.

Okay, so this could all be in my head, but let me explain a little bit. Anyways...last night was a potluck b-day/apartment warming party for Fishy and Cass. It was fun and there was a huge turn out. Fishy thought only around 10 people would show...pretty much tripled that. :)

But anyways...onto my earlier comment. When one friend was leaving...he was hugging people good bye and every time it seemed he was looking over their shoulders and each time made eye contact with me...and I have to interject that he wasn't always facing the same direction. No specific look in the eye...just a straight out...stare...small smile curving the lips. Could have been for me, or the people he was hugging goodbye. Who knows. Just seemed a bit odd to me.

Then later I kept laughing at some random comments people were making and each time i'd laugh again...one particular person would always whip around their head and look at me...like it was literally laugh...whip around and stare...small smile...then back onto the coversation. Others were laughing as well....so don't really know why I always got the direct eye contact from this one person.

Now those who know me know I love to laugh, and I can laugh pretty loud. And actually just realized that I even giggle a lot more than I thought. But this was just a normal inside laugh...not even full out. So of course being a girl I over analyze things. Were these people looking at me cause I had something on my nose (I checked...nothing there); is there some random thought process going on in their heads that I am so not privy too; or is it just a random coincidence and really I was just making more eye contact with people and am making a mountain out of a mole hill?

Sometimes I feel like I am more of a shadows person. I really don't mind the spot light and can relish it at times...but I love to work in the shadows behind the scenes or quietly and sneakily get things done for others or to help out. I love seeing a surprise smile on anyone's face.

But ever since 7th grade I have literally made it more a point in my life to make more eye contact with people, cause I realized then I didn't do it all that much. Also you can tell so much more about a person and their real "mood" when you are looking them in the eye. So sometimes it still feels I guess unnerving for me when random eye contact is made...and even more so when I can't "read" what is in their eyes. I'm not nervous or insecure...that I know of...it's just way more....intense I guess.

So...now that I have rambled on for a bit I guess I'm kind of wondering if anyone else feels like you are in a fish bowl...with the whole world staring in and watching to see what you do next. :)